


I'm Not Pretending.

by iPrayToCastiel



Category: Avengers, Captain America, Marvel
Genre: Bucky Barnes - Freeform, Bucky x Reader, Captain America - Freeform, F/M, Marvel - Freeform, it's a bit angsty not gonna lie, steve rogers - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 22:42:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,046
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7482756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iPrayToCastiel/pseuds/iPrayToCastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Imagine you and Bucky have just broken up, and he's realizing he made a mistake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Pretending.

**Author's Note:**

> okay so I'm in the mood for angst. I'm so sorry. The image of my boy Bucky broken kinda tears me apart. I also really wanted to write a fic from his perspective. And I decided to base this off one my favorite songs, Happy Ending by MIKA. Also, I’ve gotten a lot of comments asking for a part 2 for I’m Ready, Are You?, and I can happily say that I will start writing it soon. Thank you all for your support.

He couldn’t breathe. God, he was suffocating without you. He didn’t even have the will to get out of bed. What was the point? You were gone. 

He thought he was doing the right thing. But god damn it, he had never been more wrong in his life. He just wanted you to be safe. He knew that being who he was put a lot of people in danger. And it wasn’t until someone broke into the house when you were spending the night that he realized that you were included. If he couldn’t protect you, even when you were right next to him, then you didn’t deserve him. You need to be with someone who kept you safe. And that’s what he told you.

You didn’t take this kindly. You tried to fight back, saying he was just afraid. You screamed at him, saying this isn’t what he really wanted. You cried, wanting him to come and hug you and tell you he didn’t mean it. But he didn’t. He simply left. He left you to cry alone. God, he was an idiot.

He tried to convince himself that he did the right thing. That you deserved someone better. That if he truly loved you, letting you go was the right thing. He didn’t believe any of it. 

Realizing it was now 2 in the afternoon, and the only thing he had done since he had woken up was stare at the ceiling, he stumbled out of the bed. He just stood there looking around his room. He never realized how much of you was actually here. 

There was a small stack of books on the nightstand that had accumulated from you staying the night and attempting to catch him up on the latest novels. There was a pillow on the chair in the living space that you bought for him because you felt his place wasn’t “welcoming” enough. The was a couple pictures on the ceiling that you put so that you would be with him even when you weren’t there. There was even a couple hair ties on his desk that you would always have one. How could he ever let you go? With love comes sacrifice, right? What bullshit.

He hoped to god you were doing well. He hoped you were happy. He wished he hadn’t fucked up so you could be happy with him, but it was what’s best. He just wished you would everything you wanted. God, he hoped you did. All he saw was how bright your face lit up when you were happy. How much brighter you made a room just with your laugh. He hoped you still did that. Seeing you happy was his heaven, but knowing you could be happy with someone else was his own personal hell.

After moping around the tower for a couple hours and pretending to be okay, he decided to head back up to his room. But being in there was just too much. Too much you. It was now 2 o’clock in the morning, and Bucky was just walking. He didn’t really care about where he was going. He just need to think. He needed to find a way to get you out of his mind. God, you were the only thing on his mind. Maybe if he just pretended nothing was wrong, then he might start to believe it.

The thing that was killing him, was that he kept replaying everything. He kept replaying about how he met you, and how he fell instantly. He kept replaying how you looked on your first date. Just a continuous story being retold over and over again. 

At this point, he was angry. He was angry at himself for letting you go, mostly. He was angry for wasting day after day missing you, when he could just be with you. He was angry he was wasting away. He had to something. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. God, he was such a fucking idiot. 

He basically ran back to his room, slamming the door to grab his keys and jacket. He looked around the room one last time, feeling like he was missing something. And then he saw it. The hair tie. He didn’t know why, but he felt like he needed it. He slipped it on his wrist before turning for the door. He was opening the door ready to bust out when he was faced with you. 

He gasped as he took you in, seeing you for the first time in two weeks. You had tear stains down your face, lips swollen from probably biting them too much. Your hair was everywhere, most likely because you had just run to the tower instead of grabbing a cab. You were a mess. But god, if you weren’t still the most beautiful thing Bucky had ever seen. 

“Y/N...” he started, before he was cut off by your rant. 

“This is the way you left me. I’m done pretending you didn’t. I’m not pretending anymore. You left me alone, broken, with no hope, love, or glory. No happiness. You left me fucking alone. I thought you would’ve had the decency to at least say your sorry. And you expect me to not to do anything? God damnit James, this is not us. This isn’t the way we love. We love each other by sticking to each other like it’s forever. We don’t love by pushing each other a way. So what was your plan? Push me away, then we live the rest of our lives, not together? Not sticking to each other? You have my back, I have yours, and we don’t fucking leave each other. That’s the way the love. God, I know life isn’t a damn fairytale, but don’t you want to at least try to get a happy ending?” You finished, your voice now in a whisper. Your eyes met his finally and he could see the pain in them. Pain he had been trying to avoid. 

He suddenly put his hands on your cheeks and kissed you hard. He kissed you with so much emotion, the act alone had you tearing up again. He pulled away and rested his forehead against yours, smiling. 

“I just did.”


End file.
